Martha's Vineyard is an idyllic spot in the Atlantic Ocean off Massachusetts, but for decades now, people in Martha's Vineyard have been pining for diversity. We need more diversity. We need more diversity. Well, diversity finally arrived, sent on a jet plane by Ron DeSantis and the second diversity arrived, the locals, the ones who pined for diversity, called the army and had diversity shipped to a military base where apparently diversity belongs. People were not too upset at Martha's Vineyard as diversity was led away to a military base. Watch. 

CNN VIDEO: "Those are cheers in Martha's Vineyard this morning, just before migrants boarded buses to go on to joint base Cape Cod."

The Brown people are leaving. We're so excited. Go, Brown people, go. Don't come home. If you're not my housekeeper, get off the island. So, it may seem like they're bigots. I mean, what's the other conclusion? But no, according to CNN, they're just grateful. They were clapping in gratitude for Ron DeSantis and what he did, the gift that he gave them. Here's an actual CNN headline. 

We didn't believe this was real, but it is and we're quoting:"'They enriched us’: Migrants' 44-hour visit leaves indelible mark on Martha's Vineyard." 44 hours! Wow, that didn't take long to leave an indelible mark. Less than two days in the same zip code with Venezuelans and their lives are changed forever. Does this remind you of the kid in your class who adopted a Spanish accent after a spring break in Cabo or the guy who converted to Islam because he once switched planes in Dubai? It seems a little premature, right?

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So, we decided to look into it. Is Martha's Vineyard really congratulating itself for surviving its ever so brief encounter with Hispanics? Yes, it is. One nonprofit on the island called the Martha's Vineyard Community Foundation posted this message on its website. Again, this is real: 

"Our immigrant visitors have left the island. They have expressed enormous gratitude for the outpouring of support and generosity shown by the island community, which was heartfelt and overflowing." 

These people called the Army in to have the Hispanics shipped to a military base, but the Hispanics are very grateful to be shipped to a military base by the Army. They're grateful for the attention. The foundation also praised island residents for raising $40,000 in a fundraiser for the migrants. Oh, but not really for the migrants, because none of the money is going to actual migrants. Of course, it's not. 

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"The Vineyard community stepped up in an unprecedented way." Really? On whose behalf? Oh, its own. The money went to them. They raised money for themselves, not for the Venezuelans. Hilarious!

But if you want to know, in any community across the United States where the locust of self-congratulatory posturing is, where the most insufferable people in any given town that, of course, would be the local Episcopal Church and in Edgartown on Martha's Vineyard that is St Andrew's Episcopal and needless to say, as their inclination, they self-congratulated big-time. 

"We have been so overwhelmed with everyone's kind words and thought and financial support for our brothers and sisters from Venezuela." Our brothers and sisters who we had deported instantly by men with guns. So, we thought we'd check in with our brothers and sisters in Venezuela, but unfortunately, they're locked up on a military base, so they could not be reached for comment tonight.