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Dad says teen daughter can't go on date because boy won't meet with him

A father turned to Reddit to ask users if he was wrong for canceling his 14-year-old daughter's date because the boy she was supposed to go out with refused to meet him face-to-face.

A father has been commended for apparently canceling his daughter’s date after he claims that he learned the young man had no interest in meeting the parents before outings.

The dad shared his story on a popular Reddit forum and asked users if they thought he overstepped when he made his decision. 

Nearly everyone agrees that he did not.

Under the username Main_Hippo_6627, the dad wrote that his 14-year-old daughter is "a great kid" and "unfortunately, she's interested in boys now, and they're interested in her." 

"Normally, when she says that she has a date, I'm fine," he continued. 

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"I meet the kid, they go on their way, that's kind of my rule."

The father also said he doesn’t deliver "goofy" or "big scary dad" speeches when he meets his daughter’s dates. In his own words: "I wanna just meet the kid so I can put a face to a name."

His daughter recently asked if she could go out on a date, which was set for a Friday.

The father had no objections — that is, until he heard that the boy would not stop by the home for a face-to-face meeting because "he's ‘not good’ at talking to parents and ‘doesn't like to do it.’"

"Sarcastically I said that I loved hearing that and that I was at ease hearing that this guy actively avoids parents," Main_Hippo_6627 wrote on Reddit. 

"I said he could use tonight as practice for talking to parents."

The daughter reportedly then said that her date doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to do.

Main_Hippo_6627 wrote that he told his daughter that she would not be allowed to go out on the date if the date refuses to meet him.

"I got a foot stomp and a ‘that’s not fair,'" he wrote. 

"I told her I wasn’t being overbearing … just wanting to meet this kid."

"She told me she was going to do what she wanted," Main_Hippo_6627 continued. "I told her to text this guy that the date was off and go to her room. She started crying, sent her text, told me she hated me, went to her room, and slammed the door a few times."

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Fox News Digital reached out to Main_Hippo_6627 through Reddit’s chat feature.

The post has been upvoted more than 16,700 times since Sunday, July 24, and Reddit users replied to the Main_Hippo_6627’s query saying they think he was in the right. 

"Grateful [that] dads like you exist," the post’s top comment said, which received more than 30,500 upvotes.

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"You're a good dad and looking out for her," another user wrote. "If he doesn't have time to do anything he doesn't want to do, that's kind of a ‘bad boy’ flag. So when your daughter calms down have a chat with her about your why again. Also, maybe just go check that she's still in her room, just to be safe."

"It's suspicious and makes you wonder if he's older or if he's hiding something a parent could spot but a teenager would overlook," another commenter speculated.

Darren Moore, the owner of I AM Moore, LLC, a counseling and consulting therapy private practice in Columbus, Georgia, told Fox News Digital that he thinks the father "absolutely made the correct decision."

He said that hearing a prospective date is not interested in meeting the parents at the teenage stage is a reason for concern.

"Fathers play a significant role in the overall development of children, and specifically must protect their children," Moore said. 

"Therefore, the father must meet anyone interested in dating his daughter to assess the potential of danger."

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He added that 14-year-olds might think they have the ability to assess threats — but psychology and developmental life cycle research shows that children aren’t capable of making big decisions and analyzing risk factors. 

"The prefrontal cortex — the frontal lobe of the brain — plays a major part in decision-making," Moore continued. 

"What we know from science is that the prefrontal cortex is not developed until around the age of 25."

Parents should get the full name, age, telephone number and address of each child’s friend and date, according to Moore.

"It also is a good idea to touch base with the potential date’s parents, if possible," he said.

"Other information that is important includes: how did your [child] meet this potential date … are they from school, from the neighborhood, or did they meet on social media?"

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Moore suggests that parents should consider looking up their child’s friend or date on social media as a way to get informal insight into the person's character.

"We also know [that] there are individuals who prey on young people and specifically young daughters using social media and ‘catfishing,’" Moore said. 

"Therefore, meeting the potential date would help to alleviate any potential stress regarding the background, physical appearance and age of the potential date. The above-mentioned strategies should be implemented for potential dates and for platonic friends."

Moore said children generally form their opinions based on what they see from their parents, other couples they personally know, neighbors, films, television and online.

"Parents should begin having conversations about dating during the pre-teen and teen years," Moore added. 

This should happen, he said, "before a teen goes on a date and should include but not be limited to the following questions about logistics."

He then shared these questions:

What is the plan for the date?

Where are they going?

Who will all be involved?

How long will they be there?

What time will they return?

How will they get there? 

Who is driving, or will public transportation be used?

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Other topics of discussion should include expectations, age-appropriate behavior and how to handle problems, conflicts, peer pressure and safety, according to Moore.

He also recommends that parents implement protective measures such as providing a cell phone, GPS tracking and access to social media.

Following a date, parents should conduct a post-date meeting; they should review important details with their child.

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"Parents want their children to experience life as they mature, which can include dating," Moore said. 

"However, a parent’s primary concern is health and safety, which must be prioritized above and beyond anything else."

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