Valerie Bertinelli is getting honest about her relationship with her late ex-husband, Eddie Van Halen.
The 64-year-old actress first met the iconic rocker in 1980, when she was 20, and he was 26, and the pair tied the knot a year later. Bertinelli and Van Halen, who shared son Wolfgang Van Halen, separated in 2001 and made their divorce official in 2007.
On Thursday, Bertinelli got candid about their marriage while sharing her reaction to Wolfgang's episode of "Behind the Music," which was released on Wednesday.
"I was finally able to watch Wolfie's ‘Behind the Music.’ It was not easy," she admitted in an emotional Instagram video. "I'd stopped it many times because it was just too brutal to watch for many reasons."'
Bertinelli continued, "One, seeing Wolfie's pain. Two, seeing what a better job I could have done as a parent even though he turned out magnificently. I made a lot of mistakes."
EDDIE VAN HALEN’S SON WOLFGANG ON MOURNING HIS FATHER: ‘HE’S THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING’
"And three, seeing what I had turned of Ed's and my relationship — into some sort of fantasy, soulmate recreation of history," the "One Day at a Time" alum said.
"I fell in love with him when I was 20, and it rapidly declined into drugs and alcohol and infidelity. Nothing that makes you feel loved and wanted and cared for. Nothing that would scream soulmate, that's for sure."
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"But after Ed died, I was more than willing to put myself in the grieving widow category for a man that I hadn't lived with for 20 years," Bertinelli shared while tearing up. "What we had together was this beautiful son that we both unconditionally loved."
"That's what I got out of that marriage was Wolfie, the best thing that ever happened to me," she concluded. "Not a soulmate."
Van Halen, who co-founded the legendary rock band Van Halen with his brother Alex Van Halen, died in October 2020 at the age of 65 after a long battle with throat cancer.
On Thursday, Wolfgang, who is Van Halen and Bertinelli's only child, shared the trailer for his episode of "Behind the Music."
"I had the honor of being asked to tell my story on ‘Behind The Music,’" Wolfgang wrote in a post that he shared on X.
He continued, "It was difficult, but also incredibly cathartic being able to reflect on my experiences, the incredible people I’m blessed to have in my life and most importantly, my bond with my father. I don’t normally talk so openly about things, so this was new for me."
"Thank you to [executive producer] Alex Castino for making the process as easy and as comfortable as possible and thank you to Behind The Music and @paramountplus for deciding that my story is worth telling."
The official description for the episode reads, "Wolfgang Van Halen reveals his story that’s wrought with trauma, perseverance and immense talent. Born to guitar god Eddie Van Halen and actress Valerie Bertinelli, Wolfgang instantly became bound to music."
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It continued, "As he developed his own sound, Wolfgang turned to his solo project, Mammoth WVH, before tragedy struck. Eddie's death rocked his son's world, but Wolfgang solidified his music career with a sound all of his own while continuing to honor his father's legacy."
After parting ways, Van Halen and Bertinelli remained close. Bertinelli was a guest at the musician's 2009 nuptials when he wed his second wife, Janie Liszewski, and Van Halen attended the actress's wedding when she married her second husband, Tom Vitale, in 2011.
In her 2022 memoir "Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I am Today," Bertinelli detailed her complicated relationship with Van Halen.
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"I loved Ed more than I know how to explain," the Golden Globe winner wrote. "I loved his soul."
"I hated the drugs and the alcohol, but I never hated him," Bertinelli admitted. "I saw his pain."
Bertinelli described how she and Wolfgang spent every day with Van Halen at the hospital in the final weeks of Van Halen’s life.
"’I love you’ are the last words Ed says to Wolfie and me," she wrote. "And they are the last words we say to him before he stops breathing."
Earlier this month, Bertinelli told People magazine that she realized that she and Van Halen would never have reconciled despite the love they shared.
"I continued for years to rewrite the facts in my head and build them into some sort of fantasy," she said. "But now I know we were never going to get back together. We were becoming kinder souls to one another. Our bond was the unconditional love we had for our son."
